Find Yourself (Again)

Steps to Begin Your Self-Discovery Journey

Let’s get one thing straight. You will never feel like you truly know yourself.

I know. Hell of a way to start a blog post all about self-discovery. But, this does not mean self-discovery is not important. In fact, it is crucial.

Self-discovery is key to making important decisions in our lives. The decisions where we can look back and smile at the experiences.

Let’s go back to when I first started this journey. I had just moved into a single college dorm in my second semester of sophomore year. The last few months had turned me upside down. I lost 3 friends, wanted to completely change my career path, and decided that living in a triple was the worst decision EVER. (I’m an introvert, I don’t know what I was thinking).

After I moved in, I realized. I had no idea how to be myself. I had spent the last couple of years performing for others. A shell waiting to be filled by whoever the people around me needed me to be.

As I looked at the empty room of my dorm. I couldn’t help but ask myself…

Now what?

I can’t say that I’ve perfected who I am now. Nor do I feel that I ever will. But, I have learned a lot more about myself than I ever knew before. Why? Because I started paying attention.

So, if you’ve been asking “How do I find myself?” Here are some steps that you can take to start living as your authentic self!

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So what are the steps to self-discovery?

Do What You Love

First, the hard part! Figuring out what you love doing. The best way to do this is to figure out what is exciting to you. What are you interested in? What makes you kinda nervous, but in a good way? Forget about trying to find what you are passionate about. Follow what brings you joy instead.

Here are some questions to get you thinking:

• What are your energy givers? Energy takers?
• What did you love as a kid?
• If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do in life? Beyond your career?
• What are some things where you light up to talk about them?
• When have people complimented your skills?
• When was the last time you lost track of what you were doing? What were you doing? How did it feel afterward?

Next, make a plan to get more involved in those things you love. 

Use MeetUp or Facebook to join local groups. Subscribe to related magazines and email lists for events to attend. Take a class or a workshop. Find locations and make a plan to go by yourself or with friends.

Explore Your Dark Side

There is nothing like a cathartic shadow work session!

Shadow work helps you to learn more about yourself and what you might be harboring from your past. With shadow work, we can journal with a purpose and learn more about how to live in our truth.

I’ve created a PDF full of 100 shadow work questions that could help you find yourself again. 

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Here are some quick questions to get you started:

• What are the times when you felt unworthy?
• What are some cycles that are repeating themselves in your life? In the life of your family?
• In what ways am I like my parents?
• What triggers feelings of anger? Envy? Hopelessness? Overwhelm?
• What are some past negative relationships or experiences that you ruminate on? Have you forgiven them? Have you forgiven yourself? What would forgiveness look like?
• What does a healthy relationship look like to you? Platonic? Familial? Romantic? Do your current relationships look like this? Do your previous relationships look like this?
• What does success look like to you? Does this version of success bring you joy to think about? What would you remove or add to make this version of success feel more joyful?
• What are some misconceptions people have about you?

Go to Therapy

Therapy is an important part of this process. It can be hard to start the process of getting to know yourself without professional help. 

Professionals are able to help you comfort and unpack things that might be holding you back in life. Therapy can go a long way to helping you start the process of getting to know your true and authentic self.

Spend time alone (without technology)

This can be scary, especially if you’re not used to doing things alone. Here’s a tip that helped me: Bring other safety blankets. These can books, art journals, knitting projects, and more. 

It would be best to avoid technology or things that interrupt your thoughts. For example, music or movies. It is important to be in the moment without disassociating or distracting yourself.

It will feel uncomfortable, but it allows you to see yourself separate from the input of others.

Connect with like-minded people

You will find that as you start doing these things, you will meet a variety of people who are like you. Don’t be afraid to get to know them. 

Here is a networking tip I learned: Do not try to meet as many people as possible. Instead, focus on getting to know 1-2 people. Spend your time connecting with them. Focus on whether you enjoy hanging out and connecting with them.  

For more information about how to make friends, read this blog post: [INSERT: BP – How to make intimate friendships]

BP: It can be easy to get self-conscious during these encounters, especially if you are anxious and you think these people are really cool. It is important to think of the situation as a job interview. Focus on whether you like them or enjoy their company. Remember you are an equal trying to make friends with them. Not

Reach out to supportive friends and family. 

Remember the people who you have already developed intimate relationships with. People who have supported you and loved you in the past. 

It can be easy to forget these people in this journey of self-discovery. But, they can actually be a great reminder to you of who you are and you who want to be. Sometimes, they can remind you about things you may have forgotten about yourself. For example, previous interests or hobbies.

Honestly, self-discovery is not an easy journey. 

There will be a lot of obstacles. But, it is important to be patient and take it slow. You have your who life to learn about yourself. The process is endless and you are ever-changing, so there is no need to rush.

The fact that you made it to the end of this article shows that you are already on the right path. Realizations will come over time. 

The important part is to have fun. There is no need to make this a painful experience. Do what you need in order to feel happy. Focus on the enjoyment and the rest will come.

I’ll see you out there!

Love,

Ryn

Screels helps aspiring film actors and screenwriters reach their full potential. Are you ready to start living your authentic, creative, and connected life? Make sure to follow us on social media! I’d love to hear all about your journey as a creative human.